The last few days have been really hard and sad for me. This past Friday, coincidentally the same day I asked for advice on options to treat Vinnie’s tumor, I had to let Vinnie go. He battled the cancer for a long time and over the past few months it had began growing quite aggressively. The tumors around his private areas got really large and then one near his head showed up as well. Last week, I could tell Vinnie wasn’t feeling the best because he was laying down more then he ever has and just wasn’t as spunky as he normally is. Well Friday when I came home, he was in the pasture away from the other horses which was not like him at all. While I was inside changing clothes I peaked out the window and saw him laying down. I changed clothes quickly and then ran outside worried he was colicing. When I got to him he got up and acted fine. He then walked with me up to the barn. I left him with the other horses and went into the barn and cleaned stalls. While cleaning stalls he laid down again. As soon as I was done I brought everyone in. He settled into this stall like normal and even ate a little bit of food. So I wasn’t thinking he was colicing. Then it happened again. He laid back down and this time he didn’t just lay down, this time he laid flat out in the stall. His breathing was different, his eyes showed pain and I just knew it was time. With tears streaming down my face, I called the vet and asked her to come out. I told her what was going on with Vinnie and came.
She looked him over and after giving consideration to everything, she said the best thing I could do for him was to put him down. I laid with him, hugged him, kissed him, cried on him and told him over and over how sorry I was I couldn’t do more and that I loved him so much. We walked him to the top of the hill in the pasture and that is where he now rests. I plan to plant a sugar maple tree next to where he is buried. We both loved the cool fall weather and this type of tree just seems to fit him. He had such a bold personality and this type of tree has bold colors in the fall.
Letting Vinnie go is one of the toughest things I’ve had to do this year. I did not expect his time to be up so quickly. I miss him soooo much and it’s so hard to walk into the barn and not hear his whinney. He was the one to whinney first as I walked to the barn and was always the first to greet me in the pasture. I know time will heal my pain but right now it’s just hard to imagine it will ever go away.
I hope and pray that one day there will be a cure for horse cancer. I hope scientists will come up with someway to prevent or treat melanomas. What is helping me get through these days is remembering all the great memories I have of my sweet boy and knowing that one day I will see him again. One day we both will be in heaven hugging and loving on each other again.
I miss you Vinni and I love you so much! Rest in Peace my sweet boy.